Seriously. I'z help u.
I'z got mad skills. I'z trained in co-counseling, non-violent communicashuns, and empathic liss'ning.
I'z tell u watz u shood do.
U needs 2 do positive affirmashunz.
Positive affirmashunz iz watz u shood tell urself each and ev'ry day.
U sez like, "I'z very cute and peepels like to pet me," or "I'z a feeline God. My master worshipz me 'n' attendz to my ev'ry need," or "I'z takes lotz of napz. I'z sleep like a champ."
Positive affirmashunz will help u 2 feel good 'n' not be so down in teh dumpz.
U shood give positive affirmashunz a try. U will feel better.
Or maybee, U cood pee on teh masterz bed.
That always werks.
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