25 Things- A Tutorial

There is a note called 25 Random Things that is circling Facebook. Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things about yourself. You then tag 25 people and send them your note. Each person who is tagged creates their own list and tags more people. And so it goes.

This is a wonderful thing. It gives you an opportunity to get to know your friends at a deeper level. It inspires meaningful conversation. However, It can be stressful when you get tagged because like most of us, you are well intentioned and do not want to let your friends down, but you have such little time. 25 random things is a lot. No worries. Here are 25 suggestions to make this task a little easier for you.

1. Confess something from childhood, for instance, that time when you were in Middle School and did a science report on unicorns. Remember how you thought your biology teacher was pulling your leg when she told you that there was no such thing?

2. Talk about something that has never made any sense to you like why people can go to war at 18, but cannot drink, or how the words flammable and inflammable can mean the same thing. Bring up something that you just don't get, like the child abuse or fractions.

3. Talk about music. Just remember, most people love Ray Charles, so don't make that joke that you always make. It isn't really very funny.

4. People will feel closer to you if you make a confession. Tell them about the time you plagiarized your wedding vows, for instance.

5. If you choose to write about those recurring nightmares that you have, you might not want to mention the mysterious beetles that you often find in your underwear when you wake up.

6. Mention the book that you are reading, unless you are still reading The Impotence Sourcebook.

7. People are always interested in what you do for a living. Just try not to use the phrase "Ponzi Scheme" in your explanation.

8. Don't limit yourself to qualitative information, include quantitative information as well. Nothing will let your Facebook friends know how much you trust them quite like including your social security number as a random fact about yourself. Better yet, use the social security number of an ex-spouse.

9. Mention a classic piece of literature as your favorite book of all time. Presenting yourself as a reader will make you come off as smart. Make sure you spell the title correctly.

10. Write about some strange, idiosyncratic habit that you have, but not the goat thing.

11. Name your favorite TV show if you wish, but it is always better to say something like, "I don't watch TV, as I am way too busy performing deeds of selfless altruism to waste time in front of a screen."

12. Talk about your blog. You don't have a blog? Talk about mine, then.

13. Tell YOUR Continental Airline horror story. (Written before the terrible crash near Buffalo. This joke was much funnier before that happened.)

14. Say something that will make everyone in your life wonder if you are talking about them, something like, "I hate when I think I hate someone and it turns out that they are really just misunderstood or going through a really hard time. I also hate when I think I like someone and they turn out to be a big fat jerk."

15. Throw in a distracter- something like, "Hey! Look up! Isn't that Abe Vigoda?" Then, when your reader looks away, skip a number.

17. Apologize. You know why.

18. Explain why you love your feet so much.

19. ˙ןooɔ ʎןןɐǝɹ ǝɹɐ noʎ ʞɥʇ ןןıʍ ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ˙uʍop ǝpısdn ƃɥʇǝɯos ǝʇıɹʍ

20. Claim to either love or hate making lists. An item, in a list, that refers to lists, is a sure-fire winner.

21. Talk about your latest alien abduction experience.

22. Do that complain-brag thing, where you "complain" about something that would make most people envious, like being tired of getting massages every single day or having no idea what to do with all that money you have just stolen.

23. Talk about the book you are working on- Feng Shui For Gerbil and Hamster Cages.

24. Once you get to 24, you can get away with saying something like, "I am almost done with this list."

25. Talk about what you are going to do after you are done with this list. Something like, "Now that I am finished with this list, I can get back to compiling data for my numerical analysis of bowel movement frequency."

Have fun reading! Feel free to pass these scrawlings on, but make sure to give credit. This is copyrighted material.

1 Response to "25 Things- A Tutorial"

  • Larew Says:

    Oh, Great! NOW you post your tips for 25 Random Things About Me. Where were you when I was trying to come up with 25 things? After reading your tips, I feel I did it all wrong! Nobody wants to know those things I wrote about myself! I'm so embarrassed. Are there do-overs? Or should I just make up a new name like Ampersand and make a whole new list. But then, again, no one would know it was me anyway. I'm so depressed about this whole thing I must go drown my sorrows. Here are 25 random ways to do that....

    1. Drink lots of Dr. Pepper
    2. Drink lots of beer
    3. Drink lots of wine
    4. Eat lots of chocolate
    5. Eat lots of ice cream
    6. Eat an entire pizza in five minutes

    And so on... I think you get the idea.

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