Exploding Blogs. Kids Saying the Darnedest Things. And Lots Of Strikethroughs.

Way back when I started my blog, I became obsessed with was looking for ways to boost my numbers, as in hits, as in people reading my blog or at least clicking on it before saying, "This isn't what I am looking for," and immediately exiting in order to find their goat thing of the day, or whatever it is that people really want because, take it from me, this blog isn't it. So, I joined this group called Blog Explosion. The explosion part refers to the theory that the number of visitors to your blog will explode, or increase, rather than any blog actually exploding. I know that you are disappointed, for what could be cooler than an exploding blog? Blog Explosion works by forcing you giving you the opportunity to look at other members' blogs by giving you a new one to view every 30 seconds or so. You get points for each blog you view and those points allow your blog to be surfed by other members. So, that's how it works.

The problem with Blog Explosion is that some of the blogs on the site are crappy ass are blogs that I would never look at unless forced are not my cup of tea. We are talking about things like: how I am going to lose that weight sites, how those liberal socialists are killing this country sites, how much I love shoes sites, look how cute my cats are sites, let me tell you what I think about movies because I am pretty much a professional movie reviewer because I set up this here blog and review movies sites, and a collection of sort-of amusing stories about waiting in line and other stuff that no one cares about sites.

OMG, I just realized that I am a sarcastic bitch very discerning! Don't get me wrong, I have suspected it, off and on throughout the years. But now that I see it in black and white, it is really hitting home. Now I feel kind of bad.

But not that bad because...

Despite it being a great concept, I got very, very few followers from Blog Explosion. And although, it was fun to see my hit number increase on the days that I forced other people to surf my blog participated, I have a suspicion that I just wasn't their cup of tea either and maybe even they were just pretending to read my blog to get points. *gasp*

I kinda hate that expression. Not my cup of tea. It sounds so polite, but it is so dismissive.

Sondra Stinglash: Would you like to meet my baby? He is only 5 days old. Isn't he cute when he is sleeping?

Person #2: He's not really my cup of tea.

See what I mean?

And now, to make up for being such a bitch so discerning, I offer up this that I found today when I was surfing Blog Explosion due to a recent head injury failure to take my meds attack of self doubt due to low blog numbers of late ok, there is nothing I could write here to make me look good, so onward...

As a teacher, I just love those amusing kids say the darnedest things that float around on the internet. So, I am going to violate my all original material rule to re-post something I found on my blatant attempt to get more hits internet travels. I hope you enjoy reading through these children's science exam answers...

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Sondra Stinglash- When I reach adultery, I hope to live varicose to the Caersarian Section. I hear that it is lovely and the water is safe to drink there because the canoists are flirtated out.

Edna- I need a new gig. Maybe there is an opening at the Very Top Five. He seems really smart. *sigh*

Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it. Except for the things written by little kids. Although I don't really think that little kids wrote that stuff. But it is still funny.

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