How To Be a Bad Ass

The following is a transcript of a Facebook Chat.

Mom: I was chatting with a friend and she said that I was the least threatening person she knows.

Son: I am not threatening either.

Mom: I want to be more threatening.

Son: Me too.

Mom: She said that even when I swear I am not threatening, in fact she said that when I called Whats-his-name a F#$@Face, she laughed.

Son: That is funny.

Mom: No it isn't! I don't want to be funny. I want to be a bad ass.

Son: Me too.

Mom: We should take a martial arts class or get a gun or something.

Son: Good idea

Mom: I am going to think of the most shocking thing I can. We should kill a kitten. No. Forget I said that. I take that back. We shouldn't do that. That's terrible. I take it back. I take it back. I take it back. I...

Son: I know what we should do. We should PET a kitten.

Mom: YES! That is exactly what we should do. We should PET a kitten.

Son: The wrong way!

Mom: The wrong way! Yes! That really is bad. We should totally do that! We will pet a kitten from tail to head! That is just what we shall do.

Note- No kittens were harmed in the writing of this post. No kittens will be petted in the wrong direction either. You know me better than that.

Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it.

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