10 Best Things About Being In an Automobile Accident That Is Not Your Fault (Part Two)
Here is the rest of the list of best things about being in an automobile accident that isn't your fault.5. The lady on the phone from Geico calls you Madame. Not Miss. Not Ma'am. But Madame. All French like. No one else has ever done this before and it leaves you wondering how you can get more people to refer to you in this manner.
4. You get to get a rental car which is way cooler than your car. Except, in my case, the rental car is a 1978 Ford Pinto, which leads me to this-
Getting in a car accident sucks. Those 10 best things? Just polyanna-ish new agey acceptance bullshit. My body hurts. I have had ringing in my ears ever since the accident. My car was totaled and now I have to buy a new one and my car wasn't worth that much so I don't have a lot of money to work with and this isn't very funny is it? Except what you don't know is that whiny is the new funny so start laughing because this is effing hilarious.
Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it.
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A 1978 Ford Pinto? You do realize that's a "classic?" You can impress all your friends. (I'm easily impressed.)
In reality, having your car "totaled" sounds exciting at first... until you realize the amount of money they give you only gets you a crappier car than you already had. Condolences from the CatLady.
Does this mean there won't be a #s 3, 2, 1? Because I've been sitting here drinking coffee like a camel (only with skim milk that is a tad old, b/c I ran out of half-and-half and don't know which house to bring a new one to) and laughing like a fiend. You know, laughing in one of those, "this is so funny it hurts" kind of ways.
I agree with Cat Lady. LIVE the 1978b Ford Pinto, LOVE the Pinto, BE the Pinto. I fell in love with a young man who SAID he drove a Lamborgini, which you know is a lie b/c, (a) he was a college kid; and (b) I can't spell Lamborgini confidently. What he ACTUALLY drove was a 1969 Ford Falcon, previously owned by his Great-Aunt Hilda who had gone the way of great-aunts and left him her car. We called her (the car, not the great-aunt) The Black Fart..."Black" b/c she was black, and "Fart" b/c that's what she sounded like when she moved. You couldn't shove the seat forward or backward unless you wanted the whole thing to TIP over with you in it. And eventually, you could put your foot through the floor.
Did I love the man, or his machine? Both, of course! Wink*wink*
Madame is awesome. Sounds very French and kind of Pimp. Going forward, I will call you Madame.
Sorry that you're sore.
Dear CatLadyLarew,
I lied. It is some sort of midsize upgrade because the Ford Pinto got rented. The car has a keyless start. You just push a button and it goes on. Push it again and it goes off.
Would you like your car back, by any chance?
Sincerely,
Madame Stinglash
Dear Ms. Stinglash,
Now that you have your deluxe rental car, it would probably be a good idea for me to retrieve my fine automobile from your driveway. After all, you wouldn't want to look like poor white trash any longer than necessary.
Sincerely,
CatLady
ughh...hope you feel better soon!
Dear Jewel,
I am very happy about making you laugh until it hurts. This is my goal.
Sincerely,
Madame Stinglash
P.S. Lamborghini, huh?
Dear Summer,
Thanks for becoming my newest stalker, but not in a creepy way. We are a very elite group. Welcome. And many thanks for referring to me by my new title.
I gave your blog a visit, and I will be back! It was great fun.
Sincerely,
Madame Stinglash
When life gives you lemons (aka a 1978 Ford Pinto), take them and chuck 'em at people.
Anyway, this is Chris, from M-Ville. I know it's cheesy to advertise in someone's comments, but I've had to move blog sites. SO now I'm at www.knuckleheadhumor.com.
Come on by!
Dear DK, aka Chris,
Yes. Chuck them at people. Or as Jewel wrote on my FB wall, "When shit hits the fan, make lemonade." I found your new sit and I am now officially stalking you.
Sincerely,
Sondra Stinglash
Dear Optimistic Pessimist,
Thank you. I appreciate it!
Sincerely,
Sondra Stinglash