The 10 Best Things About Being In a Automobile Accident That Isn't Your Fault (Part Two) Redux

I got off track a bit trying to finish this post, and by off track I mean that I got a big case of the feel sorries for myself. I am better now, so here we go, the last four of the list of best things about being in a car accident that is not your fault.

4. You get a cool rental car. Way cooler than a 1979 Pinto. And what I mean by cool is that it has a button you press to turn it on. And then you spend most of your time sitting in the rental car pressing the button, turning the car off an on again. You make a show of it and ignore the eye rolling when you invite your teenage son, Elliot, once more to come out to sit in the car to watch you turn it on and off. "OK, how about this time you can push the button, Elliot! Won't that be fun?"

3. You get to tell people that your car was totaled and watch their eyes get really big. "Yeah," you say, "T O T A L E D." Big eyes. Right on cue.

2. You get to buy a new car. During the process of deciding, you get to fantasize about what kind of car it will be. You fantasize about sun roofs, push button starting, butt warming seats, smart cars, hybrids that tell the world how much you care, etc. In the end, you will most likely get an affordable, unremarkable car like a Corolla, but in the meanwhile, you imagine yourself riding about town stealthily in your shiny Prius, listening to NPR; heads turning to see who that fine cultured person is who cares so much about the environment that she not only talks the talk, but walks the walk, except without the walking part. The fantasy goes on to include how you spring from your hybrid, canvas shopping bags in hand because you are the kind of person who never leaves said bags in the middle of the kitchen floor when heading out to the grocery store, remembering them only when you are in line at the cash register when it is too late and are forced to bring your goods home in earth-raping plastic bags. You glide effortlessly to the organic section of the grocery wait...

Scratch the grocery store. You drive to your local community supported agriculture farm, of which you are a member and you begin harvesting your dinner, new red potatoes pulled out of the earth, swiss chard, kale, wait....

Scratch the CSA. You drive to the organic farm that you planted in an abandoned lot in the center city. The lot that was, until you got the great idea to create a garden, the infamous site of the dog prostitution ring/toddler auction house/crack cocaine meet-up spot. Now the lot is an abundant feast of color and hope and deliciousness in the form of life and soul sustaining vegetables and flowers. Dozens of smiling urban youth are joyfully weeding and harvesting as you pull up silently in your Prius. The toddlers and the dogs are now all in first rate homes being well cared for. The sense of joy and renewal is palpable....

1. You get to count your blessings and be thankful, because although life just handed you some lemons, you know that life could have handed you way worse things than that.

(And you marvel at the fact that you got three posts out of it.)

Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it.

4 Response to "The 10 Best Things About Being In a Automobile Accident That Isn't Your Fault (Part Two) Redux"

  • Says:

    Man, that really makes me want to go get into an accident! (Can I borrow the push button car while I'm waiting for the insurance money?)

  • Jewel Says:

    May I come weed with you in your urban Eden with the safe and happy toddlers and the smiling youth? I'll bet there's no mosquitoes or slugs there. Or poison ivy or nettles. Or broken glass and cigarette butts.

    I almost said "used condoms" instead of cigarette butts, but I took it out b/c that's kind of inappropriate, even though it is the kind of thing you find alongside sidewalks and parking lots and under bushes and stuff like that. In cities, suburbs, the country. Yeah.

    Is your rental really a Prius? Cool.

  • Everyday Goddess Says:

    Really great to meet you! I can be found at: Single Mom Guru and Oh My Goddess. I never know which one I am!

  • NJ Pigno Says:

    Cat Lady Larew- I may have exaggerated the good parts a bit. But the push button car is pretty neat.

    Jewel- Used condoms among broken glass and cigarette butts. You know what that means, don't you? People are outside doing it on broken glass and lighted cigarettes. I just creeped myself out so much that I am not going to go outside today.

    Oh My Goddess- Great name! Nice to meet you as well. Thanks for stopping by!

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