And Now, Without Further Ado, And With a Bunch Of Hard Math...
The poll is closed, ballots counted and recounted, hanging chads and all, contested, counted again and then recounted and the winner is...You know who the winner is. After all, you have been following this race, obsessively compulsively checking and rechecking on the quarter hour.... Oh wait. That's me that's been doing that. I get us confused.
Here is what you have been waiting an excruciatingly long week for! The results of the "Should Sondra Stinglash be Married?" poll! The envelope, please....
- 44% of readers are ready to Marry Sondra Stinglash off to the first biped that ambles along. Seriously, see that guy over there? Yeah him. He'll due.
- 44% of readers wouldn't be able to bear it if Sondra Stinglash were unavailable. Their lives would lose all meaning and they would stop leaving the house.
- 66% of readers would like some rigatoni for dinner please, and hurry it up damnit.
Interesting results don't you agree? Interesting, but not easy to understand. Therefore, what follows is my mathematical analysis of the poll-
Adding the percentages together, we see that 144% of my readers voted in the poll. 18 people voted so that means that 18 = 144%. So, 36 steps later, using high level math that I won't show here because it is over your head, (see picture) we get this equation:
1800 = 144x
For those of you that are lost, let me explain- We use x to denote an unknown number that we are solving for. Good? OK. Let's go on.
To solve for x we must perform the same operation on each side of the equation. For instance, if you performed an appendectomy on the 1800, you must also perform one on the 144x. This is very logical because if you took the appendix out on one side of the equation and not on the other side they wouldn't be equal anymore.
Not that there is anything wrong with people who are lacking an appendix. They are fine people, but they are mathematically different and must be represented as follows:
OK. I won't bore you with the specific computations, but 22 steps later we get x= 12.5. We will have to subtract 2, however, because I voted twice. So now we are left with 10.5.
Then, dividing by 7, which is how many days the poll lasted, we get 1.5.
And there you have it.
To solve for x we must perform the same operation on each side of the equation. For instance, if you performed an appendectomy on the 1800, you must also perform one on the 144x. This is very logical because if you took the appendix out on one side of the equation and not on the other side they wouldn't be equal anymore.
Not that there is anything wrong with people who are lacking an appendix. They are fine people, but they are mathematically different and must be represented as follows:
person without an appendix < person with an intact appendix
OK. I won't bore you with the specific computations, but 22 steps later we get x= 12.5. We will have to subtract 2, however, because I voted twice. So now we are left with 10.5.
Then, dividing by 7, which is how many days the poll lasted, we get 1.5.
And there you have it.
Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it.
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So does that mean that Nanodance < CatLadyLarew? (Since you don't have an appendix and I do?)
I think I solved the equation, by the way.
The answer is eleventy-bagillion, which, by the way, is Vladimir's favorite number. Does that mean that he should marry Sondra?
Cat Lady,
If you show me your work we can parse out where you went astray. Don't worry. I am generous with partial credit, just as long as you show your work.
Sincerly,
Sondra Stinglash
BTW... Happy Anniversary of the birth of your Sidekick.
Sincerely,
Cat Lady
OMG I'm dizzy ... I am still not sure which one came out as the winner!
Eternally Distracted,
Imagine if I had shown all of the steps!
Thanks for following! Your blogger picture is really, really, really cool. (That's three reallys!)
Sincerely,
Sondra Stinglash
I loved all the therefors and whynots, but tell me again what the answer was.
Ettarose- Um...well...the answer is...uh...what was the question again?
I've known for some time now about your humor genius, and now I know about your math genius. So I need to ask Prof. Stinglash this: is person with appendix but without wisdom teeth = person without appendix but with wisdom teeth?