The New Funny

I have been sick for four weeks now. In truth, I had a one week reprieve and then got sick again, so it is more like I have been sick for three weeks over a four week time period with two different illnesses, or maybe one illness with a relapse since it seems similar but with a lot more sleeping. Although, to be honest, I don't remember much about the first illness except I was on it, as in having a great attitude about "beating this thing" and totally doing the hot lemon and honey drinks, lots of soup and my favorite cold remedies. This time, I am so tired of being sick that I am pretty much not doing anything for it at all except sleeping. And coughing. In that department, I have been quite productive indeed.

Feel sorry for me.

It isn't H1N1. It isn't even regular seasonal flu. At first I thought it was a reaction to the seasonal flu shot that I got. I had never gotten one before and when I started feeling badly that very night, I right away assigned blame. And I had corroboration too, others claiming that they had had reactions to the flu shot as well. My brother, Hank Torgit, assured me that the reaction would only last a few days but the resentment towards the shot could be expected to last the entire winter. But then my son, Edgerton, who did not get a flu shot, got sick also and slept for a record 18 hours straight and I had to revise my initial assessment. When I consult Dr. Internet, it seems pretty clear that I have the common cold- but bad. A bad, bad, bad, bad cold is what I have. But no matter how many bads I put in front of it, a cold doesn't really sound so bad. It certainly doesn't sound like I should be in bed all the time, sleeping for 13 hour stretches, letting my surroundings crumble around me.

Although, it might be turning into a sinus infection. Probably it is, because my face hurts more than it is killing you even.

Sinus infection. Just doesn't have that poetic ring to it, as far as maladies go, like consumption, the plague or swine flu. Tell someone that you have come down with a case of consumption, and you are immediately recognized as tragically ill and you get the sympathy you deserve. Poorly named, those sinus infections. They sound so run of the mill, so pedestrian. They should be re-named. Like after the doctor who discovered them or the patient who had the first one.

Finklestien's Disease.

Now that sounds much more deserving of sympathy, not to mention offers of soup, hot tea and brand new iphones.

Remember. Whiny is the new funny. And this post is

*all together now*


Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it.

16 Response to "The New Funny"

  • Lee the Hot Flash Queen Says:

    I hope you feel better soon. Go to the damn doctor will you!

  • Skye Says:

    I hope you get better soon!

  • CatLadyLarew Says:

    Finklestien's Disease sounds much more serious... I'd go with that.


  • Nanodance Says:

    Thanks Lee, I have an appointment this afternoon.

    Thanks Skye. I once was sick during an entire relationship. I got sick before it started and then was sick for a month more after it ended. I think it was 4 months in all.

    Cat Lady- I go to the doctor to have it confirmed, but I am certain that it is Finklestiens and the only cure is being freakin' hilarious. (whining) It was really funny with the strikethrough, but blogger wouldn't let me do it.

  • linlah Says:

    I thought I had consumption once but it turned out to be swooning. Hope you feel better soon.

  • Jewel Says:

    So many viruses, so little time. Over 200 kinds! There's (sing along with me): rhinovirus, parvovirus, coronavirus, parainfluenza virus, adenovirus, enterovirus, and respiratory syncytial virus and so on, and so forth, and shoobee-doobee-doo-bee!

  • Boris G. Says:

    would you like a Platinum iPhone, some tea, and a spicy Asian soup? Now?

  • Nanodance Says:

    Linlah- I have had that swooning disease too. It is kind of nice.

    Jules- Doc says not Finklestiens. Most likely the aftermath of the flu, probably H1N1 and the start of pneumonia. Got antibiotics.

  • Nanodance Says:

    Boris- I can't think of anything witty to say. How about yes?

  • ettarose Says:

    Colds turn into Bronchitis and never ever knock a sinus infection. If left untreated they can be dangerous. There is nothing more than a thin covering between the sinuses and the brain. I saw a baseball coach on the news that lost his eye due to a severe sinus infection. Yeah, you may want to go to the doctor.

  • Nanodance Says:

    Thanks Ettarose- I did go and got loaded up on medication but they haven't helped. So, most likely this is a virus that has to run its course. Doc said most likely H1N1.

  • Smileyfreak Says:

    I like it :) Very very freakin hilarious lol

  • Nanodance Says:

    Smileyfreak- Glad it made you smile! Thanks for visiting!

  • kerrycharacters Says:

    My sympathies that you are not suffering from something exotic or at least something with a latin word with lots of consonants. I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this. I love your blog and have listed it as a favorite.

  • Nanodance Says:

    KerryCharaters- I feel so understood. Nice to meet you and glad you like the blog!

  • Kathryn Says:

    Oh, I'm sorry you're so sick...but you ARE hilarious!!!

    It's really not dramatic enough to say one has "just a cold"....I've always felt we needed something with more...dimension.

    A sinus infection? The word "infection" connotes something potentially deadly....I'm down with that!

    Hope you feel better soon!

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