Beaming With Pride
Once in a great while my son, Eckhert, does something that makes me beam with pride. I know what you are thinking- that he finally started that humor blog he talked about a few months back.
Not it.
No humor blog. He did write one post which he sent to Edna, my inner editor, as he has no inner editor of his own. She checked it for typos and errors and sent it back quickly so that he could make haste setting up his blog and publishing his first post.
Which he never did. Instead he spent his time dropping dirty clothing onto his floor and throwing tissues into his garbage, watching them fall on the floor instead and shrugging.
He may have spent a bit of time studying though because he just finished high school one semester early, having rocked nine regents exams and graduating with honors. Not too shabby really.
But that isn't it either.
The beaming with pride comes from the confidence and originality he shows when he speaks to the army recruiters who are calling him regularly to tell him how joining can support him in his quest to go to college, open his own business, sleep all day...it matters not what he says his goals are...the person on the other end of the phone has an answer for him. Joining the army, marines...what have you...is guaranteed to make his dreams come true. He has told the recruiters that he is a pacifist, a communist, an anarchist, a sociopath, and a homosexual. He has claimed to be androphobic (afraid of men) and papaphobic (afraid of the Pope). The only thing that had them concerned was his claim of homosexuality. Everything else they could work with.
Rather than just telling the recruiters that he has no interest in joining up, he instead turns it into a game of chess- he says something outrageous and then waits for the response.
I was leaving the house the other night as Eckhert picked up the phone. It was Sargent Hunter.
"Just a second, Sargent Hunter," says my 18 year old son, "I have to say goodbye to my mommy."
Beaming I tell you. Just beaming.
Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it.
Dear Sondra.....congrats to you and Elwood. I think his good grades has something to do w/the zebra stripped snuggly. I'm heading for one as soon as I get over my zoophobia(fear of animals) Next time a recruiter calls have Elroy tell them he has pogonophobia (fear of beards)that wouldn't be good in the middle east. Do you know if philemaphobia (fear of kissing)is hereditary?Pity the poor man who meets you who has Venustraphobia (fear of beautiful women).
That's rich!
I see Ernest is going with the Do Ask, Do Tell policy. It is important to be earnest, after all.
Must get it all from his mum. Maybe they regard him as a challenge too and are writing new recruiting manuals especially to deal with him.
Very witty, isn't he? Wonder where he gets it from.... ;-)
As an Air Force brat, sister of an Army brat (my brother is a very large brat), niece and aunt of respect Navy brats (one a kind-hearted, gentle elderly brat and the other a 4.0 Yale grad brat who is learning all about nuclear submarines as I type) I must say...
cowabunga! Also, I am the mommy of my very own brat, who received the same phone calls last year but had nothing nearly so clever to say.
As for Eckhert's excellent academics, I take credit for some of that based on his amazing math instruction from middle school days. Okay, so maybe, in spite of that...anyway, congratulations Eckhert! What's next?
Congrats to your son for finishing high school early!! He sounds like a real character!!
That's awesome. I've tried to encourage my sons to come up with outlandish things to say to unwanted callers too. This story proves that I'm on the right track.
Checkmate, he's a good chess player.
I just thought I'd let you know I've awarded you the Kick Ass Bloggers award over at my place: http://idifficult.blogspot.com/2010/02/more-than-you-want-to-know.html
Congratulations. Probably.
Thoroughly enjoyed that. I can so understand your son's enjoyment of the game. I do the same thing with salesmen. Good on him.
That is awesome. Papaphobia is what I'm going to call in sick with from now on.