Dating Myself

This might give you an idea of where I am at these days.

I am taking a course in anatomy and physiology and we are studying cells.  The other day, our professor projected an image of a sperm cell on the wall.  I looked at it and the first thought that came to my mind was, "Jerk."

Clearly, right now anyway, dating a man is out of the question.  My solution is to date myself for awhile. My sister and I came up with the idea of dating yourself, an idea so brilliant that it is sure to start a whole movement.  This review of a blind date can shed some light on how it is done:

Date Lab
Dates like this happen every day. Heaven help us.   

Sunday, March 23, 2008;

5:00 p.m., Wegmans, Grocery Store

Sandy:  I thought it a bit risky  to go to my date’s home for the very first date.  But it was Easter and Sandy seemed to be in the same situation as I was.  No family plans or Easter engagements.  When she suggested that we meet at Wegmans, buy food and then go to her house to prepare dinner together, I thought, “Why not”  If I got a creepy feeling from her, I could bolt before we got to her house.  I found her in the produce aisle, picking out artichokes.

Sandy: I recognized Sandy right away from her picture.  She looked nice.  Her hair was up.  She was slender and dressed in jeans, Doc Martens and a vintage coat.  She looked part big city punk, part Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus. 

Sandy: She seemed like my type and I was happy to see that she liked artichokes too.  We picked out a couple nice ones, a small baguette, and some cheese.   Sandy insisted on paying for the food, which I thought was nice.  

Sandy: We walked the few blocks to my home.  The weather was mild and sunny.

Sandy: We ended up walking to Sandy's home. I was surprised that we didn't drive.  Maybe Sandy doesn't own a car.  She seems a little out there- one of those environmental vegetarian feminist types.  She had brought her own bag to Wegmans.  I hope she isn't a lesbian.  We mostly talked about the weather.  Turns out her house is pretty close to the grocery store.  Her house was kind of cool on the inside.  I like the way she had it decorated.

Sandy: When we got to my house, I put the artichokes in the steamer and poured a glass of wine.  That done, it was time to get to know my date better.

Sandy: I was a little put off that she hadn't bought a bottle of wine for us; instead she popped a left over bottle out of the fridge.  There was really only enough for a small glass.  Now that I think about it, it was probably better that way.  It is better  if I don't drink too much on a first date.  I have gotten into trouble that way.

Sandy: We talked a bit about the books we are reading.  Turns out that Sandy is an avid reader too.  

Sandy: In the middle of our conversation, Sandy grabbed a book.  She started reading out loud.  The book was interesting and it was fun to discuss the passages she read.  After a while though, she started to read to herself.  I thought that was a little rude, but to be honest, I had spied an interesting book on her shelf, so I grabbed it and started reading too.

Sandy: The artichokes were ready at about 6:30.  We sliced up the baguettes and cheese.  I got worried because it wasn't really much of a meal, more of a light snack.  But Sandy acted very gracious and said the food was delicious.  

Sandy: The appetizer was delicious.  I couldn't wait for the main course.  I was so hungry, especially after walking from Wegmans and waiting so long for the artichokes to cook.  It took me a while to realize that there wasn't going to be a main course.  So, I hung out for a little while longer, to be polite, but then decided to take off.  It was still early and I figured that I could stop somewhere and buy some food for myself.

Sandy: Sandy had to leave earlier than I had expected, but it was a really nice first date.  I'd give the date a 4. I would definitely like to see her again.  She was easy to talk to and I felt comfortable with her.  I had a nice time.

Sandy: Blind dates are always a bit awkward.  This one was a bit strange, but it wasn't too bad.  I would give the date a 3.  I would see her again, but I will wait for her to call or e-mail me.  


Interviews by Loni Carbunkle

UPDATE: Sandy and Sandy exchanged e-mails addresses and phone numbers.  They have sent each other a few funny youtube videos, but they haven't scheduled a second date yet.


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