Callithump Thunderblog

Now that I have attracted such a large following, (Double digits like my new fun-sized monthly salary!!!) my fans stalkers readers have become relentless in their demands for personal information about me. The questions never stop. "Sondra Stinglash," they cry, "You are such an enigma! Tell us something, anything at all, that will help us to understand both your complexity and genius!" It is a strange thing to have them all yelling in unison like that- kind of surreal, but I understand that it comes with the territory, so I tolerate it.

And I will oblige. Here are 5 fascinating facts about me that will help uncover the secrets of Sondra Stinglash and as an added bonus will also serve as a useful guide when you are agonizing over what to buy for me.


1. I once spent 4 hours drawing my hand, as an exercise from the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. I had been so focused and had worked for so long that I had not noticed that my family had gone to bed. There I was, in a quiet house, sitting in a dark room under my lamp, all alone. Gazing upon the drawing, I couldn't believe how well I had done, for someone who had never been able to draw before. The book was right. Drawing was all about seeing, not about technique. I had captured every fold, every crease, every line. And then I noticed it.







The rendering had six fingers.






2. Pretty much every gift I have gotten over the last year, I excitedly decide is an i-phone. It doesn't matter what size the package is. If it is a big package, I form a picture in my mind of opening one box that contains a smaller box which contains a smaller box until I get to the box with the i-phone. If it is a really small package, I imagine that it is one of those inflatable expandable i-phones that no has heard of yet because it is so very new. I get very excited, giddy almost, and kind of blown away that someone would give me such an extravagant gift. And I say, "You shouldn't have!" Then I open it and it is not an i-phone.


This keeps happening.


3. I have a policy against abbreviations. One should say a word in its entirety rather than using its vulgar abbreviation. That is why I say "gasoline," "gymnasium," and "cellular telephone," just to cite a few examples. These are good words and they should be used. I encourage you to join me in this campaign that I call, "Take Back the Syllables."







4. I invented the sea urchin.



5. I am subject to fits of this disease, which I combat by dressing up my old writing, directing readers to read my old stuff, or by creating lame excuses for posts that are really just random lists of weird crap crapola I thought up quickly and passed off as a bonafide post.


But because you are really special to me and you read this entire post and I like you a lot and I am pretty sure that you bought me an i-phone, I will give you some inside information. The reason the Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain story is funny is because I am actually in possession of five fingers on each of my hands, not six.


I will wait while you laugh.


Did I mention that you are very special to me? And I have a birthday coming up?












Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend, although I don't really know why you would want to. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it. (Again. Not sure why you would claim responsibility for this one.)