Callithump Thunderblog

Continuation of A Day In a Blogger's Life- Part One 

11:30-  Head to kitchen.

11:40-  Grab a bowl full of cheezy crackers and sit back down at computer.  Feel good about the fact that it is precisely this kind of self sacrifice that separates your blog from the rest of those other three-square-meal-a-day blogs.   Laugh to self about all those other bastards eating their tomato soup, green salad and demi baguettes for lunch.  That sounds delicious and all, but it makes one wonder how they can possibly write quality posts with those spoons in their hands.  

Amateurs.

11:45-  Start to daydream about starting another first rate blog, this one featuring tips for the budding blogger.  Kick-off post would be a review of different types of cheezy crackers and other snacks you can eat right at the computer.  

11:59- Pull self out of daydream.  Remember task at hand.  Start research for post.   Look at websites featuring Jessica Simpson, free movies, Cat's in the Cradle drug reference, natural attic insulation, cheat codes for Grand Theft Auto 4, make your own Easter cards, what rhymes with orange and youporn.  Spend extra time researching youporn.

12:00- Decide to put new post on back burner in order to follow a new direction.  After all, blogs need more than good writing.  Decide that it is time to pimp your blog.   The sophisticated subscriber, after all, demands both function and form.   

12:05-  Look through blog.  Look at other people's blogs.  Look at your blog again.  Read over all your posts.  Keep looking at blog.  Look at blog some more.   Ask yourself questions. What is it that this blog needs?   What is that secret stylistic element that it lacks?  Pictures?  No.  A new layout?  No, not it.  But what?  Walk around house, carrying laptop, staring into screen, reading and re-reading every post.  Sit down dejectedly, head in hands...

4:59-  Eureka!  You've got it!  

5:00-  Comb through blog and add more exclamation points.  Lots more.  

5:05-  Sit back and admire your work.

5:06-  Start thinking about dinner.

To be continued!

6:00- Rise and shine.  Morning yoga to prepare for blogging.

7:00- Breakfast.  Protein shake breakfast with raw eggs, to give that extra energy that blogging requires.

7:15- Check blog stats.  Subscriber number is down.  Shake head and wonder why, oh why are subscribers so fickle?  

7:16  Become hellbent on determining what subscribers really want. Check out dogpile's searchspy to see what people are searching for. 

Search reveals following:

Jessica Simpson

free movies

Cat's in the Cradle drug reference

cheat codes for Grand Theft Auto 4

make your own Easter cards

natural attic insulation

What rhymes with orange

youporn

7:30 Decide to write a post with the terms Jessica Simpson, free movies, Cat's in the Cradle drug reference, cheat codes for Grand Theft Auto 4, make your own Easter cards, natural attic insulation, what rhymes with orange and youporn liberally sprinkled throughout in an effort to attract more traffic to blog.  Briefly consider your integrity, then abandon it and get down to writing.

7:32 Call in sick to work.  Blogging is more important and soon, when you are discovered, you will not need a day job anymore.  This can only happen if you devote more time to writing.

7:35 Realize that there is no rhyme for "orange."  Feel dejected.  Sadly realize that this post is going to be harder than you think.

7:40  Read other people's blogs to see what they are writing about.  Follow links until you are deep into internet land.  Come to sudden and sober realization that you have spent almost one full hour playing kitten wars.

10:50 Break time.  Enjoy a cup of your homemade chai.  Fantasize about your own chai beverage line of products with catch phrase, "Better than the crap you are drinking."  Calculate money to be made from t-shirt sales alone.

11:15  Start thinking about lunch

To be continued