Showing posts with label Writer's Block. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writer's Block. Show all posts

It Don't Write Itself


I haven't been here in a while. I have been very, very busy. Happily my blog hasn't gotten into any terrible trouble during my absence. She has not gotten arrested, gotten herself pregnant nor has she maxed out any credit cards. As it turns out, my blog has actually not been doing anything at all.

As a matter of fact, it seems that in my absence, my blog has been lying around the house all day on the couch, eating chocolate. She is suspiciously quiet when I come home and say, "Hey blog, how has your day been? What are you up to?" No reply when I ask, "What's going on here?" And when my anger escalates, my rant falls on deaf ears, "I have been out all day, working my fingers to the bone and I come home and nothing is done. Dinner isn't cooked and the house is a mess and nothing is written. Not one word. What exactly have you been doing all day?"

"Look blog, the jig is up. I found the wrappers."

I gave my blog plenty of good ideas to work with too...

What about the idea to start a charity that raises money for homeless people so that they can go to tanning salons? That was pretty funny. How about the idea to treat a ganglion cyst by downloading the Bible application for the iphone and then smacking the cyst with it? I find that particularly hysterical. (Funnier when you are aware that the folk cure for a ganglion cyst is to hit it with a Bible, of course. And now you know, so laugh away.)

All that good material and nothing...

Nothing at all...

It is clear then that my blog just don't write itself.

Fine. I will just have to do it then.

"You just stay there on the couch blog. Just keep eating those chocolates. Are they as delicious as they look? Can I get you something else? Something to drink perhaps? No, no...don't get up....I got it."




Go ahead and click on the teeny envelope icon and send this post to a friend. Don't be jerky and claim that you wrote it because I wrote it, damn it.

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What She Said


Writer's block.  Bad.  Thought twittering would help.  It doesn't.  Now I am having a hard time with producing more than 140 characters at any one time.  (See right column for tweets.  Isn't that cool? I know the vernacular!)

I refer you then to a favorite blog of mine.  After all, it is about time for an official plug for the Cat Lady.  When she doesn't have writer's block she writes great stories.  You will be happy you visited.  

Plus, she says it way better than I can.  And it isn't plagiarism when you don't take credit and you don't actually write their words.

And I am not sure if you can accuse someone of stealing the idea to have no ideas.




Have fun reading! Feel free to pass these scrawlings on, but make sure to give credit. This is copyrighted material.

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My Pathology

Hypo-graphia  (AKA Grapho-phobia)

Definition:   a group of signs and symptoms common to people who have previously enjoyed and have had success at writing who suddenly and inexplicably really suck at it.

Etiology- Poorly understood.  Possibly an autoimmune disorder.  Often associated with lack of ideas, inspiration, literary impoverishment, jaded outlook, poorly fitting shoes, inability to locate cellular telephone because you turned it off and then left it in your friend's car under a pile of Dog vs Squirrel magazines, recent acquisition of jet skis or head trauma.  

Signs/Symptoms:  Sudden onset.  Gradual onset.  Characterized by exacerbations and remissions.  Often strikes at night.  Attacks often repeat with increased severity.  Sudden and extreme urges to engage in alternate activities to writing, including  but not limited to flossing, figuring out the timer on your your camera so that you can take pictures of yourself, examining yourself for moles, and Sudoku.  Course is highly variable.  Can be mild to disabling.  

Treatment:  Plagiarism for palliative treatment.  Self medication.  

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